The Greek language has different names for different types
of love: Philia, Caritas, Pragma, Eros, Agape.
Those who regard Love to be an all-permeating force at the
very essence of being look at Agape as the all-embracing spiritual love which
descends from higher realms of existence down into the world, to embrace all
beings in unconditional love. Agape is the love that asks no questions and
places no demands – all are loved just because. It is this descending
unconditional love that awakens the hearts of spiritual beings, radiating upon
the world like the warming, inspiring glow of a million suns.
Eros is the ascending aspect of Love, the irresistible,
mighty drive to reach up, commune and become from a singular ‘me’ a larger,
collective ‘we’. Some view Eros to be the very drive that causes atoms to
commune and become molecules, molecules to cells, and cells to organisms. It is
this force which compels humans to become couples, tribes and communities and
it can be persuasive enough to make you lose your appetite and sleep until you
have done so.
There is a narrow view of erotic love, which confines its
meaning to couple relationships; but in the larger sense, Eros is the same
invisible force that drives us, humans, to dance with others, share meals with
others, embrace each other, and share our most intimate thoughts and feelings
with each other.
Humans are a complex animal: we hunt, feed and mate, but we
also build cities and countries, invent things, tell stories, and ask deep
questions about meaning and values. To be fulfilled in our erotic communion
with another, we need to be met at the depth of our complexity – and if we are
preoccupied about what makes life worth living, or how to alleviate suffering
in the world, we thrive in conversations with others who share the same
passions and in shared action towards mutual goals.
At the same time, with greater complexity arise greater
problems, and often a deep level of psychological development leaves us
detached from more primordial aspects of our existence. We gain greater
intelligence, and we lose some of our instincts. Our greater conversation
partners or activism buddies often do not touch us or move with us as we’d
like; or our best lovers and dance partners don’t meet our mental depth, and we
are left wanting.
This is where our best friend, the Dog, is there to help
out: living with our animal family members we connect with them at the
primordial aspects of our being that we have otherwise largely disowned: touch
and movement. Because our dogs are not human, we have no expectations from them
for deep mental connection, and where a friend who fails to listen to your
dreams and passions will disappoint you, a dog will not, because he’s not
supposed to do anything else but eat, sleep, mate or not, and play.
Trading Hugs for Food! |
Ideally, erotic relating would be the meeting of two beings
who commune at all the levels of their being, from the simple, primordial, animal
aspects of their self, to the highest peaks or deepest depth of thinking,
feeling and acting: we touch together, move together, talk together and act
together. In reality, this is rare, if at all possible, so we seek the human
companions of the equally complex men and women for living, working and playing
with; and we rely on our dogs for affectionate touch, caresses, hugs and
kisses, and we walk with them, run with them, swim with them. Unlike children,
they never grow up to shy away from your kiss (“Ew, mom!”) or from shared
activities.
The dog has lived with humans for tens of thousands of
years, in a relationship that changed from a simple transaction: “You feed and
shelter me, and I’ll protect your young, herd your sheep and hunt with you and
for you” to: “You feed and shelter me, also provide me with exercise, play and
a job that’s a good fit for my breed and personality, and I’ll cuddle with you,
kiss you, and sleep with you in bed so no matter what goes on with your human
relationships, I’ll make sure that you’ll never feel lonely”.
Dogs have empathy, and can feel with us. How many human
tears have been dried up by dog’s tongues, how many hurts have been comforted
by a caring paw and a wet, cold nose? There’s something valuable in the
simplicity of being there with a friend in need without preaching to them,
trying to fix them, or offering unsolicited advice and while we human learn how
to offer such simplicity to each other, dogs already have it for us.
While no dog can replace a lover, a child or a friend, and
no lover, child or friend can replace a dog, it is the same mighty Eros that
compels them to commune with both human and beast.
Embracing Kinook upon her arrival in my life - June 2001 |
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